How to guide your child through big emotions by letting them borrow your calm
We all need to be comforted at times. A young child’s ability to comfort themselves develops as they get older. Right now, your child needs your calm, reassuring presence to help with their upsets. You may have found ways to soothe and settle your child through play, physical soothing, drumming, swinging, singing or reassuring.
Research shows that parents responding sensitively to their distressed child helps build brain pathways that help the child better cope with stress later in life.
Staying calm and present while supporting an upset child can be one of most difficult experiences of parenting. This doesn’t mean removing your child from every scary situation or distracting them through every upsetting experience. In fact, always protecting your child from feeling distressing emotions and facing small challenges can delay their emotional development over time. Staying calm and present also requires that you take care of your own needs as well.
These resources describe ways to help your child through their big feelings and borrow your calm.
Resources
Downloadable tip sheets
How to Support Your Cautious Child
Playful, everyday ways to help your cautious child feel more comfortable in unfamiliar social situations
ENGLISH
Pause, Validate, Adapt, Repeat
How to get through tough moments when your child is having big feelings
ENGLISH
Supporting Your Child Through Big Feelings
How to calm your child when they have big feelings
ENGLISH
Supporting Your Parent-Child Relationship
Five ideas to help strengthen your relationship with your child
ENGLISH
Things to Remember When My Child is Having BIG Feelings and Behaviours
What to do when your child is stressed and overwhelmed
ENGLISH
Weathering the Stormy Feelings: Storybooks
A list of storybooks that show soothing and loving relationships between parent and child, and that it’s okay to be shy
ENGLISH
The shy and sensitive child
Things you can do to help your child feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar social situation
Video title
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
(14:29)
More resources
Five Things You Might Not Know about Emotion, Dr. Deborah MacNamara
The vital role of emotions, how emotions are different from “feelings,” and the importance of healthy emotional expression
How Play Strengthens Your Child’s Mental Health, UNICEF
Why play is important for a child’s brain development and emotional well-being
Listening and Coming Alongside Kids’ Emotions, Dr. Deborah MacNamara
Helping children feel deeply listened to and cared for, and approaches that can be unhelpful
Secure Attachment, BC Foster Parents Association
The importance of fostering a secure attachment with your child (video, 3:05)
Serve and Return, BC Foster Parents Association
Describes how the back-and-forth interactions between a child and a responsive adult support early brain development and long-term emotional well-being
Temperament and Heart-Mind Well-Being, Heart-Mind Online
The importance of understanding and accepting the unique characteristics and sensitivities of children in the early years