WALKING ALONGSIDE YOUTH - AN ONLINE ANXIETY COURSE
Session 3
HONOUR
the youth’s identity, experiences and family traditions
Looking beyond the symptoms to understand the youth in your care
Anxious youth have unmet needs. They must feel safe in relationship with you in order for those alarm bells to quiet down. So where do you begin when faced with confusing symptoms that don’t make sense in the here and now? After all, you decided to become a caregiver because you wanted to provide care, right? Ultimately, this is easier said than done, since anxiety can appear as resistance to receiving the very care that you so deeply want to provide.
Resistance, aggression, oppositionality, excessive worry, and adherence to rigid, ritualized ways of doing things—especially around food, self-isolation and even self-harm—are just a few of the symptoms of an overactive alarm system that can be confusing and overwhelming for both caregivers and youth.
The first and most important thing you can do in caring for anxious youth is to honour them exactly the way they are. Focus on understanding them from the inside out and as an extension of their people, culture and traditions. You can begin by reflecting on the following questions:
- Who are they? Who are their people and what are the ways of their people?
- Where do they come from?
- Who are they most connected with? Who do they miss? How can you, as a caregiver, keep them connected with those they are attached to?
- What have they been through before, and what are they going through now?
- What kinds of stressors are they experiencing?
- What separations have they faced?
- What has been alarming for them?
- What are their unmet relational needs?
- What are they facing and what worries do they have about the future?
- Are there traditional ways of taking care of the youth you are responsible for that you could arrange for? Who from their community or family could help with this?
- How can you honour all that a youth has been through before coming into your care?
You may not be able to answer these questions easily; they are meant to lead you into yearning to better know the youth in your care.