WALKING ALONGSIDE YOUTH - AN ONLINE ANXIETY COURSE
Session 3
HONOUR
the youth’s identity, experiences and family traditions
Honouring: The first step in the dance of relationship
Honouring is the first step in the dance of relationship. Honouring the youth in your care means treating them with admiration and respect, and always holding them in high regard.
This requires you, as a caregiver or care provider, to look beyond troubling behaviours and anxiety symptoms to learn about the identity, experiences and family traditions of the youth you are responsible for.
When you lead with the intention of seeking to understand who a young person is, where they come from and what their lived experiences are, you are learning to walk alongside them and are meeting them exactly where they are.
Ashley's Story
As you go thru the course, hear the firsthand perspective of Ashley, a former youth in care.
Remember
The anxiety a youth is experiencing is likely warranted. The youth’s alarm system is hard at work trying to correct a problem within their relational landscape. Anxiety is not a problem to be fixed. It is a signal that the youth has a relationship hunger and needs relational support.
Changes you may notice in yourself as you begin to walk alongside youth:
- letting go of agendas outside of building a relationship in which the youth feels safe and can rest
- resisting the temptation to work on changing a youth’s anxious mind, thoughts and behaviours
- realizing that you cannot discipline or teach a youth out of the anxiety
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focusing on really seeing and getting to know the youth, by, for example:
- seeing past their troubling behaviours and anxiety symptoms
- wanting to learn their likes and dislikes, such as favourite foods, music and activities
- taking interest in and having more respect for who they are most attached to
- seeking to learn about their family, cultural identity and connections
Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, authors of Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, refer to acceptance as a door that leads us to a new way of seeing youth. It is through conveying acceptance that we let a youth know we accept them regardless of their strong emotions and behaviours.